Al Coehall
12.30.05 (11:13 pm) [edit]
I remember being at my neighbor's house, before I left PA... I think it was Thanksgiving or Easter... one of those holidays. Her family was there, and somehow the subject of drinking came up. We were all drinkers so, no big surprise there. My neighbor's mom was there, along with a lot of other friends and family. I forget the actual "question", but what it amounted to was, "Why do you drink?"
After everyone had given their 40 ounces worth, I took my turn. I answered, "I drink to feel normal." That, oddly, got laughter from my neighbor's mom. Seems most people drink to get drunk, or to get a buzz, or to pass out. Me? I drink to feel normal. Before you jump to the "alcoholic" argument, let me explain.
When I don't drink, I feel more pain. When I don't drink... when I don't drink I actually feel this damned disease. If I drink, I can pretend that my eyes are fucked up from the alcohol... I can pretend I'm falling and losing my balance from the alcohol... I can pretend that I'm nauseous, or angry, or weepy, or lost... because of the alcohol. If I don't drink, even after going from HEAVY drinker to non-drinker, and giving it ample time to get out of my system, I FEEL SICK.
I drink to feel normal. I drink to feel like anyone who has been drinking feels, even if I'm still sober.
So, if you want to know what (my) MS feels like, just get REALLY drunk. Then, take it all in for about 24 hours or so from when you started drinking.
That's Cutter's world, sober or not.
I drink because I think that maybe, if I can get drunk, I'll understand everyone else a little better... even if it's at their worst. It's the closest I can really get to relating.
I also drink because I'm bored, but that's another entry.
After everyone had given their 40 ounces worth, I took my turn. I answered, "I drink to feel normal." That, oddly, got laughter from my neighbor's mom. Seems most people drink to get drunk, or to get a buzz, or to pass out. Me? I drink to feel normal. Before you jump to the "alcoholic" argument, let me explain.
When I don't drink, I feel more pain. When I don't drink... when I don't drink I actually feel this damned disease. If I drink, I can pretend that my eyes are fucked up from the alcohol... I can pretend I'm falling and losing my balance from the alcohol... I can pretend that I'm nauseous, or angry, or weepy, or lost... because of the alcohol. If I don't drink, even after going from HEAVY drinker to non-drinker, and giving it ample time to get out of my system, I FEEL SICK.
I drink to feel normal. I drink to feel like anyone who has been drinking feels, even if I'm still sober.
So, if you want to know what (my) MS feels like, just get REALLY drunk. Then, take it all in for about 24 hours or so from when you started drinking.
That's Cutter's world, sober or not.
I drink because I think that maybe, if I can get drunk, I'll understand everyone else a little better... even if it's at their worst. It's the closest I can really get to relating.
I also drink because I'm bored, but that's another entry.
posted by: Cage (reply)
post date: 12.31.05 (6:20 am)
I really get this rationality.
posted by: Cage (reply)
post date: 12.31.05 (8:34 am)
rational
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 12.31.05 (1:50 pm)
cutter
i dont drink because i grew up in a house with a black out drunk...his favorite activity was abuse...you know things like russian roulette with a gun to your head, punches to the face, things that put you in jail these days for a long time and bubba takes care of you....so alcohol...i have little tolerance for it
whatever rocks your rocket...as long as no one gets hurt along the way
the symptoms of ms...staggering, slurrrimg etc look so much like being drunk people who don't know me might assume i was loaded...you must be a riot when you drink...how much worse does the ms get?
and this isn't meant as a judgement on you drinking...i do pharmaceuticals for pain and to escape
tere
posted by: RavensWings (reply)
post date: 01.01.06 (5:28 am)
I can hear what you are saying, and I am truly sorry that you feel any pain at all, that you have to feel the disease...
I do not, nor will I ever, judge you for drinking...I've always looked at drinking more as self-medicating.
