Drumroll please
ok, folksies... let me set this up for y'all...
The motivation behind this project is my brother. My brother is 13 years younger than I am, which makes him the same exact age now as I was in 1994. There is no one on the face of the Earth who means more to me than my brother. Period.
So (and I'll link back to this entry in the future) what this next project of mine will be is posting my (very private) journal entries from '94... from 13 years ago. I don't know that I'll be able to post an entry every day, but I'd like to post one as often as possible.
You can comment if you want to, but just, please, be very aware of the date of the entry. The entries will be posted, with very few exceptions, exactly as I wrote them (poor spelling, grammar, and punctuation included) although I'll be using initials instead of people's names. I've grown a lot, learned a lot, and experienced a lot over the last 13 years. Don't assume that I have not.
oh... and as a final note... This project is not in order tell my brother that I know how he feels. It is in order to let him know that I know damn well that I don't, but that I love him and want him to know that I will not forget what the hell of being that many years into this thing we call life can entail.
Otay... stay tuned, I guess.
posted by: unmutual (reply)
post date: 01.25.07 (12:36 pm)
That's one hell of an undertaking. I hope something positive comes out of it.
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 01.25.07 (1:19 pm)
Reply to: unmutual
Keeping it vague will be tough. Stopping myself from posting too much will be tough.
I hope that I can keep the focus on the actual point of posting any of it, and not get sucked into telling my life story or attempting to make too many political or social points.
In January of 1994, I was not yet declared legally disabled. I had no firm diagnosis of mental illness, being that my history was pre-adult. Not even my name was the same as it is now.
1994 was the year everything came to a head.
In many ways, on many levels... 1994 was "Childhood's End."
posted by: dstar (reply)
post date: 01.25.07 (1:58 pm)
Is your brother 13 now, so that these posts would be covering the time that has past since he was born?
I am really interested in this project of yours.
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 01.25.07 (2:01 pm)
Reply to: dstar
My brother is 24 now. We are 13 years apart.
The entries I post will have been by me when I was exactly the age he is now.
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 01.25.07 (2:04 pm)
typo - have been WRITTEN by me when...
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 01.25.07 (2:14 pm)
I am looking forward to it. I realize it's useless to ask you to pace yourself, but.. pace yourself. :)
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 01.25.07 (2:45 pm)
Reply to: lindy
I'll try. It'll be tough emotionally... looking back... for many, many reasons. And these entries are from my actual journals. From books I'd not wanted to be read until after my death.
...talk about running around nekkid...
yeesh.
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 01.25.07 (3:00 pm)
here goes nothin'
posted by: commontater (reply)
post date: 01.26.07 (12:19 am)
This project of yours seems daunting to me, cutter. However, I sense an energy arising from within you that shall sustain you through to the end of it, I think. :>
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 01.26.07 (12:21 am)
Reply to: commontater
Hopefully. It will, or it will kill me, I suppose.
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 01.26.07 (10:46 am)
Just figure I'd mention this (to those who end up reading this entry and its comments)
If you want a face to the project, go to "My mug shots" and click on the link which expresses my getting tired of being carded for cigarettes.
It's the only picture from that time which I have scanned and stored online... and I'm just fine with that.
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 02.02.07 (5:10 pm)
Well, one week into it, and I'm already completely fried.
I'm not too sure if this will happen the way I wanted it to. ...sort of like my life in general, I guess.
