013094
02.02.07 (9:49 am) [edit]
PLEASE NOTE! This writing is from 1994!!!
Jan 30
At J______'s. About to leave for tonight's Poetry Slam at Dobbs. Feeling very bitchy and very tired. PMS sucks.
Loving all the time I am spending with J___, but being scared of smothering each other. Time apart seems appropriate, but in no way do I really desire it.
Nights spent so close. Wrapped around her while sleeping. Feeling so incredible and wonderful. Wanting so badly for this happiness to continue forever.
1/2 hour before I have to leave. I need a nap, but there's no alarm. Oh well. Anyway, my brain's not in writing mode.
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posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 02.02.07 (3:01 pm)
I'm wearing out. I really wanted to do this. I really did. I'm just wearing out. I can't read anymore of it. I can't explain any more of it.
I'm tired... and posting this shit is not doing me any good.
I don't know that I'm going to keep going with this project. I really don't know if I even can.
posted by: LaBellaMorte (reply)
post date: 02.04.07 (3:05 pm)
I am so very sorry that this project sucks so much out of you...but I do appreciate the fact that you shared.
You need as much strength as you can possibly get, and this is not something that is giving you much, if any, at all.
I know that you've already decided to stop doing the project, but I did want to say that it warmed my heart to read that you felt happiness, that you felt close to someone, to hear it "in your own words" so to speak...
I just wish, so much, that you felt more happiness in your life...
Try and hang in there...
posted by: Cutter (reply)
post date: 02.04.07 (3:17 pm)
Reply to: LaBellaMorte
It was fun while it lasted, I guess.
The "story" gets pretty dark, pretty fast.
I feel things very intensely, very quickly. Then, those things usually blow up in my face.
It's all about extremes though, I suppose. If you can't take the hell, then you'll never experience the heaven.
You're a happy part of my life. :)
posted by: LaBellaMorte (reply)
post date: 02.05.07 (3:48 am)
"If you can't take the hell, then you'll never experience the heaven." I REALLY like that...one of the first thoughts of the day that I get to chew on...Thank You :D
Thank you muchly for telling me that I am a happy part of your life :) and, dittos ;)
